Here is what I am getting at...I am miserable! Absolutely miserable with myself! I have gained 15 of the 21 pounds I had originally lost, back! And my goal was to be at a good, healthy weight by summer, and I have blown it! To smithereens I might add!
What doesn't make sense is, I feel terrible. I have horrible heartburn (from stuffing my face), I can't sleep (from stuffing my face), I can't fit into anything (from stuffing my face), and I am so tired and exhausted all the time (Yes...from stuffing my face)! So, why do I continue to do the same things when I know it only makes me feel like...like....CRAP! You know the saying, "When you know better, you do better.", well that is a LIE! I know better but I am a far cry from doing better!
So, after being so miserable yesterday I decided once again I would try to get this FAT thing under control. Last night Brody and I headed to Target to purchase the 30 Day Shred. I made several excuses not to go, and one of course, was I was way too tired (go figure). And I didn't need to spend the extra money. I made a deal with myself, if it was too expensive I would not purchase it (sounds completely ridiculous considering I never say that when it comes to food!) But, needless to say..we headed off.
Lo and behold...guess what? Sale, Sale, Sale! Now I love me good sale..but when I rounded the corner and saw that all exercise DVDs were 50% off, I didn't run and jump with excitement (probably should have, could have started the burn right there). Yes, it applied to the 30 Day Shred...$9.99 mind you! I figure if that mean, hard, woman can whip a 400 pound man into shape, she may stand a chance with me!Okay, so here is the deal...I am hoping by posting this that you will help me be accountable, and the fact that if I fail at it will bring even more guilt since I am stupid enough to post this, then I might actually stick with it. Stranger things have happened!
On a more serious note, I am really just trying to be truthful with you. I have a FOOD problem. A serious FOOD problem. My close friends know my struggle, but not everyone. I don't like to air it all, but so many of you have come to me asking for advice in this area (I have laughed with GOD on that one!) and confessing your desire to do a bible study on just this. Girls, it's time to BELIEVE that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. It's time to give GOD authority over this area of our lives.
Enough for now...I have stopped several times and almost deleted this post. If I don't end it now, I might back-track. Just know, I am with you. I understand what this is like. Jillian Michaels may have the ability to kick my B-U-T-T, but My Redeemer has the power to transform my pitiful, weak, LIFE!
In just over 3 months I will turn 35. I have a check-up with my thyroid doctor the same week and he said, if I am not in better physical condition, he will put me on cholesterol meds at that time. And blood pressure meds might be next. Girls, that has my attention!
I'll keep you posted on "The Shred"...will do session 1 today..Please pray I don't kill over...if I do, just know I am in Heaven, sitting at my table ...probably eating!!! Hey, don't frown at me... He said it....
Isaiah 25:6
"On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine— the best of meats and the finest of wines."
Hope there's Coconut Pie...
Love you, girls!
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